GetOut Magazine

Did you hear the one about how to be really, really funny?

By KELLY WILSON
GET OUT

Want to hear a great joke? A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar . . .
Wait a second — I've screwed up.

I've already violated one of the fundamental rules of telling a joke, according to Scottsdale comedian Mark Cordes, a regular on the national comedy-club circuit: Never tell an audience they're going to love a joke.

“It's probably not going to be the best joke ever and you set my expectations up pretty high,” Cordes says.

The art of telling a joke is more complicated than I thought.

In a new movie, ‘‘The Aristocrats,'' opening Friday, a hundred well-known comedians — including Chris Rock, Bob Saget, Whoopi Goldberg, Robin Williams and Sarah Silverman — analyze, deconstruct and deliver their own version of what's supposedly the world's raunchiest joke.

It's an insightful discourse on why we laugh and why tales of even the grossest acts imaginable can tickle our funny bones.

With that in mind, I turned to a handful of Valley funnymen to get their thoughts on how nonprofessionals can avoid the dreaded sound of silence around the office watercooler.

SETUP + PUNCH LINE

A simple joke includes two things: A setup and a punch line, says Ron Babcock, half of the Ron and Ryan comedy duo who perform monthly at Phoenix's Paper Heart Gallery.

‘‘The setup paints a picture,'' the 26-year-old explains. ‘‘It lets the audience make an assumption. For example, ‘I just bought a $1,500 CD player.' You assume that I actually bought a very expensive CD player.

‘‘The punch line shatters the assumption the audience made, resulting in laughter. For example, ‘I just bought a $1,500 CD player — actually, it's just a Ford Contour and it's not running.'

‘‘Assumption shattered, laughter ensues. Rinse, lather, repeat.''

KNOW THY JOKE WELL

“If you say, ‘Stop. Wait. Oh, I forgot that part,' it takes the person out of it,” says Babcock's partner, Ryan McKee, also 26. ‘‘However, the joke can't sound scripted.

‘‘It's gotta sound like it's off the top of your head. The best way to do that is change little pieces of the joke each time you tell it while still getting to the same punch line.

“And when you do get to the punch line, it has to be a surprise,'' he says. ‘‘Almost like you didn't see it coming yourself. That way the listener is surprised — making it more effective. If the listener can guess the punch line, it's never as funny.''

SHORTER IS BETTER

David Nickerson, who will perform Tuesday and Wednesday at the Tempe Improv as part of the Raunch Tour, has learned the value of brevity.

“My worst joke I told onstage was a lengthy description of how funny it would be if ‘Saving Private Ryan' was spun into ‘Saving Private Pyle,' ” says the 33-year-old Phoenix resident.

“My discussion was way too long for a joke that was average at best. I have been told that my best joke in terms of originality could be when I refer to Hollywood couples and use Richard Gere and Stuart Little as an example of a Hollywood couple whose relationship is heading down the drain.”

Cordes, 49, agrees: “We've all heard jokes that last 10 minutes that should have been told in two minutes.”

NEVER LAUGH YOURSELF

“Don't laugh at your own joke,” Babcock says. “You know the joke. You've told it a million times before. Is it really that funny [to you] anymore?

‘‘If you're at a party and you have to laugh at your own joke to let other people know when to laugh, then you should put down your drink [and] apologize.''

KEEP THE AUDIENCE

“If by chance you tell a bad joke onstage, you need to immediately acknowledge how bad that was to the audience and promise them it gets better,'' Nickerson says. “There's nothing worse than losing the audience, especially at the beginning. That's why you come out swinging.

‘‘The more good jokes you tell, the more the audience is going to laugh at even your average jokes. Once you get them going, you can tell knock-knock jokes for all they care.''

SIDEBAR:

Houses of humor
Check out these East Valley comedy venues for a good laugh:

Tempe Improv: The Valley's premier comedy venue, with nationally known performers Thursday through Sunday, as well as occasional shows on other days. (930 E. University Drive, )

The Comedy Spot: Intimate comedy club brings in local and national acts Friday through Sunday. (7117 E. Third Ave., Scottsdale, )

Theatre 168: Valley improv troupe The Jester'Z perform at 8 and 10 p.m. Friday and Saturdays. (7117 E. McDowell Road, Scottsdale, )

Mardi Gras: Up-and-coming comedians perform Friday through Monday.
(8040 E. McDowell Road, Scottsdale, )

Hollywood Alley: Funnyman Page the Village Idiot hosts a variety show Mondays combined with live music. (2610 W. Baseline Road, Mesa, )

J.J.'s Sports Cantina: Cap'n Tripps Strange Brew Crew performs Fridays in the restaurant's fiesta room.
(409 N. Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale, )

String Chemistry Cafe: Recently opened cafe offers comedy with live jazz and blues acts six nights a week. (2655 W. Guadalupe Road, Mesa, )

Harkins Valley Art Theatre: The Tempe Improv/Harkins Theatres conclude their amateur contest 7 p.m. Friday with shows by four comedians. Tickets are $8. (509 S. Mill Ave., Tempe, )