What is it about true love that seems to end in terrible music?

By CHRIS HANSEN ORF
GET OUT

Shakespeare wrote “If music be the food of love, play on!,” but for many high-profile artists over the years it's been more like, “If music be the food of love, make your worst records.”

Sure, love is a many splendored thing, and nothing makes me happier than seeing two beautiful young people in love, but as a music fan, is it just coincidence that when an artist has a well-publicized marriage or love affair, their work suffers?

What is the theory at work here? Suffering begets great art? Artists work best under the influence of angst? Whatever the case, the latest guinea pig for these age-old questions is Chris Martin of Coldplay, who perform Thursday at Cricket Pavilion.

Martin has been a paparazzi and tabloid target since his marriage to Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow, especially after the two named their daughter after a well-known computer company (I hope they at least got a free iPod out of the deal). So far Martin appears to be doing OK creatively, and although his band's latest disc, “X&Y,” has received mixed reviews, there are still enough tracks with their signature long, portentous intros to have spawned the adjective “Coldplay-ish” when referring to sound-alike alternative bands.

Here is a brief look at some artists seemingly sent into a creative swan dive by love.

• John Lennon: Contrary to long-held beliefs, Yoko Ono did not break up The Beatles. They were coming apart even before Lennon visited the Japanese artist's London art show on Nov. 9, 1966. Lennon's Beatles work was great until the band's demise in 1970, but free from his clean-cut Beatles reputation, Lennon's solo work was erratic, and the public's perception of the singer, as he hung around protesting from a bed, was that he was losing his mind. Married until his murder in December 1980, his last album, “Double Fantasy,” contained some great Lennon tunes and some horrible Ono tunes. To this day, an overbearing, obnoxious band wife or husband is referred to as a “Yoko.”

• Paul McCartney: Like Lennon, his work with The Beatles was nonpareil. His 1969 marriage to Linda Eastman broke groupies’ hearts everywhere, but alas, Paul didn't have as many when Wings came out. Despite a few great tunes, Wings for the most part stank. And his post-Wings solo stuff has been forgettable.

• Billy Joel: A great singer/songwriter in the 1970s, he married supermodel Christie Brinkley in the early ’80s and wrote “Uptown Girl” for her. ’Nuff said. Everything thereafter was, at best, just really bad.

• Madonna: Musically, Madonna has pretty much had it together her whole career, but her movies? She was great in “Desperately Seeking Susan,” then she married Sean Penn and they did the laughable “Shanghai Surprise” together. They divorced. Madonna made “Evita” and wasn't bad. She married hot Brit director Guy Ritchie, and the pair made “Swept Away.” P.U.

• Ric Ocasek: The Cars’ beanpole songwriter made several classic albums in the late ’70s and early ’80s. He hooked up with supermodel Paulina Porizkova (do you see a trend here?), and Ocasek's writing, and The Cars’ popularity, went into the toilet.

• Gavin Rossdale: In a classic case of “A Star Is Born,” Gwen Stefani and her band No Doubt open for Rossdale's Bush on tour. They fall in love. They get married. Rossdale's new band, Institute, played for 200 people at The Clubhouse Music Venue in Tempe on Aug. 13. Stefani headlines the America West Arena Nov. 16. More than 200 people will show up.

• Britney Spears: She enjoyed massive popularity and a relationship with Justin Timberlake before marrying her back-up dancer, Kevin Federline. Even before her pregnancy, the former teen queen seemed more interested in smoking cigarettes and eating Cheetos, walking through smelly public gas station toilets barefoot and grabbing K-Fed's crotch for the paparazzi on hotel balconies than making new records.

A FEW MORE TO WATCH:

• Kenny Chesney: Married Oscar-winning actress Renée Zellweger.

• Jack White: Dumped Zellweger, but married model Karen Ellson.

• Trisha Yearwood: Engaged to Garth Brooks.

• Garth Brooks: See above.

• Faith Hill and Tim McGraw The party's gotta end sometime.

• Christina Aguilera: Engaged to record exec Jordan Bratman.

• Chris Robinson: The Black Crowes singer is married to actress Kate Hudson.

• Avril Lavigne:Engaged to Sum 41 singer Deryck Whibley.

• Deryck Whibley: See above.

• Nick and Jessica (no last names necessary): According to Us Weekly

Coldplay
When: 7:30 p.m. Thursday
Where: Cricket Pavilion 2121 N. 83rd Ave., Phoenix
Cost: $36-$71
Information: