Bland curry, careless service at Thai Rama
By CRYSTAL PETROCELLI
GET OUT

Wait: Four of us walk in at 8:30 p.m. on a Sunday, half an hour before closing time. We are quickly seated in a roomy, oddly shaped booth.

Service: The key to Thai dining is dialing in the perfect balance of sweet, sour and spicy — fiery enough to get your attention, but not so intense you can’t taste the lovely lemongrass or tangy ginger. Good Thai places will ask how spicy you want each dish. I guess that’s not the rule at Thai Rama, because our server asks us what level we want our soup, but that’s it. We assume she’s going to take our medium request and use it throughout each dish. Wrong. Our soup is the only dish with any hint of heat.

Our waitress brings out a plate of nuer sa wan (four pieces of marinated steak) with just one knife. I ask for three more knives. The server slides the knife from under a steak, holds it up and shoots me a “Won’t this work?” look. Eventually, she gets the “four people and four steaks equals four knives” equation, but only after I mumble some snarky comment.

After munching on ice for a bit, I finally ask for my one and only water refill, and shortly thereafter, our waitress goes MIA.

A good 15 minutes after we take our last bite, a boy finally drops off the check. Various plates, bowls and dishes still litter our table as we walk out.

Meal: I didn’t know it was possible to mix up a batch of curry and end up with something that has no fragrance or flavor, but Thai Rama somehow manages to do just that with our bowl of beef mussaman curry.

We assume a dish called "hot and spicy noodles" will give our taste buds a little torching, but alas, not one of us can detect the slightest speck of a chili flake. Not knowing which dish is which, my spice-fearing friend says she enjoys the noodle plate the most, simply because “it’s not spicy.” Enough said.

When the phat phed pla duk arrives, no one rushes to dive into the unsightly pile of fried fish. It’s my job, so I reluctantly give it a go. I fork one of the soggy catfish chunks (if it was ever crisp, the sauce put an end to that), cut it and take a bite. Gross is the only word to describe the experience. Parts of the fish are gray, and the thick, red-brown sauce it’s swimming in is just plain bad.

The tom kah gai and Thai toast were acceptable, but every entree missed by a mile except for the marinated steak, which managed not to offend.

Scene: A wide-open square of a restaurant with pink walls, an impressive number of potted plants and a handful of rickety white lampposts inside and out.

Bathroom break: Nothing special, but nothing frightening.
Tab for four: $72 with tip and tax for Thai toast ($5.50), yahm kun chlang ($6.25), large tom kah gai soup ($8.95), beef mussaman curry ($8.50), pork hot and spicy noodles ($8.50), nuer sa wan ($8.95), phat phed pla duk ($9.95) and a Thai iced tea ($1.50).

If work weren’t buying: I’ve had such a hot streak with Thai places, I was starting to think there was no such thing as bad Thai. Just a wee bit off on that one.