Having seen and enjoyed the 1998 trashfest “Wild Things” several times on late-night cable, I’ve developed a guilty fondness for tawdry, stick-to-your- clothes thrillers with sub-A-list casts and clever deathtrap endings.

It’s a problem and I’m seeking treatment.

“After the Sunset,” starring Pierce Brosnan, Woody Harrelson and Salma Hayek, would seem to fit the bill. Even the promotional lobby posters are sleazy-looking — suggesting, perhaps, one of those cheap Telemundo action flicks where everybody wears aviator sunglasses. Sadly, the movie — aside from several lingering close-ups of Hayek’s toned, womanly chalupas — isn’t all that habit-forming, guilty or otherwise. Directed by Brett Ratner, the questionably talented director behind the “Rush Hour” franchise, it's an oversexed caper with a promising middle, an abysmal ending and a forced playfulness that suggests second-hand Elmore Leonard.

To be sure, rookie screenwriter Paul Zbyszewski owes a debt of gratitude to the creator of “Get Shorty” and “Out of Sight.” "After the Sunset" is a rather undisguised pastiche of the author's aggregate body of work, starting with — The lovable crook. That would be Max Burdett (Brosnan), a hopelessly suave jewel thief who snatches a priceless Napoleon diamond from the clutches of the FBI and retires to the Bahamas with his hot-to-trot accomplice and fiancée, Lola (Hayek).

Max would be content to spend his remaining days basking in law-abiding romantic bliss if not for the arrival of —The meddling fed. Burned by Max repeatedly, FBI agent Stan Lloyd (Harrelson) comes to the Bahamas dangling bait: the largest, most valuable Napoleon diamond yet, on maximum- security lockdown in a cruise ship that happens to be docked near the island.

Stan — a tacky would-be womanizer with a chip on his shoulder — knows that Max can't resist a professional challenge, and covets one last shot at catching him in the act. Unbeknowest to Stan, Max has other concerns — The villain with a funny attitude. Local gangster Henry Moore (Don Cheadle from “Boogie Nights”) also encourages Max to steal the diamond, ostensibly to finance what he calls a “humanitarian program” — really, just an empire of casinos and paramilitary training camps. Like Dennis Farina's gangster in "Get Shorty," Henry is both menacing and absurd, emoting a pretentious air of refinement when he is, quite obviously, nothing more than a common booty-slapping hood. In any case, Cheadle — the movie’s most dynamic actor — doesn’t get nearly enough screen time, because Ratner (“Red Dragon”) would rather cram the movie with —
Sexy horseplay.

An essential staple of any Leonard-based movie property, here expressed in the frisky love scenes between Brosnan and Hayek (they would have made an attractive spy couple, back before Brosnan was booted from his 007 gig) and a less-credible affair between Stan and a beautiful island constable played by Naomie Harris (“28 Days Later”), who apparently can't resist balding men with inferiority complexes in ugly Hawaiian shirts. “After the Sunset,” if nothing else, is a textbook white-boy fantasy (with a title that sounds like an early Don Henley album, incidentally).

Something else about Elmore Leonard movies: the caper at hand is usually just a cradle for the central love story; foreplay, if you will. It’s the same in “After the Sunset,” only the caper proves to be depressingly linear and the love story, resoundingly hollow. Faced with the realization that she’s engaged to a diamond-addict, Lola chooses the path of the enabler, and you can’t shake the feeling that the sun has already set on this particular marriage.

‘After the Sunset’
Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek, Woody Harrelson, Don Cheadle
Rating: PG-13 (sexuality, violence, profanity)
Running time: 100 minutes